BANNED!! These words are BANNED!!

I hate labels that dont fit. What do I mean by this? Take for instance the term TS girl. Hello? They are not girls, they are grown women. Yes, I refer to them as women. I was sitting in the coffeeshop thinking of all the words I can not stand and have compiled a list of words that are hereby banned from my universe.

1. TS Girls are now known as TS Women. They, (at least the ones I know) are nothing like girls. Girls havent hit puberty yet. These ladies are fully grown!!

2. BBW is one of the most overused general blankets thrown over anyone who is not a size nothing. I hate this term, always have. I shall call them Kurvy Kutie Bombshells. Big Beautiful Woman my ass. That is like trying to glorify the word "bitch". No matter what type of spin you put on it, it still sounds horrible!! What the fuck, over?

3. ATF (all time favorite). A term used by those in the "hobby". What the living hell is this term all about? Really? Hello. Commitment. It causes more drama than a baby out of wedlock. If a provider (especially one of those silly ones who take the term GFE too damn far) thinks her client is seeing another provider (i mean, isnt that what they are supposed to fucking do?) then she will throw a hissy fit. "but I am your ATF!" she will cry. This is clearly a case of bitch please. Don't get it twisted. Chances are your client is married and sleeping with you. DO YOU TRULY EXPECT HIM TO BE FAITHFUL JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE HIS ATF? Silly chits. lol Do yourself the favor and skip the term all together. Keep things simple and drama free. It's not that hard....try it and see!

4. GFE (girlfriend experience) Oh lord Jaysus Tittie H. Christ, this term gets everyone who uses it into sooo much trouble! Hello people. This term is so open to interpretation, I dont know why people bother using it at all!! I see the term as another form of commitment. What happened to plain old no strings attached?? The word Girlfriend itself is a damned commitment! RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY!. I dont want to be your girlfriend. That means you will call me at odd hours, pissing me off and thus causing drama. If you slap that label on me, that means you will assume certain liberties...and when I bring you back down to earth, you have the NERVE to get hurt and offended. Humpf. So, I am banning this word. Dont even think about it!! No! I am a provider, a sizzling sexy escape for one hour at a time. No pay, no play. Duh! GFE is an excuse for someone to attempt bare back sex. Let's not kid ourselves. Really. Cmon now. Urban Dictionary was created for a reason. Do your research.

5. Classy. What in the heck is classy? Oh wait, that's right. A chick who will let people walk all over her as she sits there quietly with a smile on her face. A "lady" made of porcelein and lace. Someone you can take to a dinner or a play or have draped over your arm at your next business meeting. Hello stupid asses of the hobby. Let's get a clue here. Any provider worth her blow jobs is going to make sure she is fed. If this means she has to put a lid on the blatant sexuality for a short while, she is going to do that. Just because she is SMART doesnt make her classy. It just means she is no dummy. If a client takes her out to dinner, do you really really think a provider worth her reverse cowgirl giddyup will walk out the door looking like a hooker? (unless that is the type of provider a client hangs out with. in that case, he gets what he asked for. duh). NO! she will be dressed to the nines in the latest LV fashions, complete with the black Louboutin heels. Duh. Just...smh. this word should have been number one on my list of banned words. Just because I have burgundy streaks in my hair and can rock purple eyeshadow.....does not mean I am not classy. Not responding to the haters who dare tell me I am not classy...now, that is real class. LOL. Get a clue and stop using this word!

6. DATY (dining at the Y)...just say eat me. Really. I will admit it took me a minute to visualize DATY...as in, the words. I had to figure out what the Y was. Once I got it, I became annoyed. lol. Just say you like to eat pussy!! I know I do!

7. YMMV (your mileage may vary) What the fuck am I...a car? A used Honda? Are you serious? This one is a no fracking brainer. Why use this term? Hello. Captain Obvious is upset at the fact someone stole his punch line. OF COURSE YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY!! If a provider did everyone the same...she would be a robot. That is no fun. Everyone should get something different every time. If you dont, you are fucking a robot and you just got ripped off. Congrats on being stupid . Could be at least change the word mileage to experience? please? WTF? I know we providers are used (gladly) but...we are not used Hondas. This is just a dumb damned term.

8. Bartering. This term...when i hear it, I just tune the word out. I dont even hear it. My brain skips right over it, automatically. Hello. My body is for sale. SALE. Meaning I expect to make a monetary profit from it. lol. What the hell am i going to do with the Christian Louboutins you bought me in exchange for an hour of my time? Take them to my favorite resale shop and get paid! (if they are a gift, then I am keeping them. Duh!) My inbox sees at least one of these emails each week. "If I buy you a Coach bag and take you out to dinner, can I have four hours of sex with you?" No you dumbass. I dont even like Coach. My body is for SALE, not BARTER. Oh, and I can tell a real from a fake too. Don't even try it.

9. SPINNER. WTF? This is the dumbest damned marketing ploy used by skinny girls. Just say what you are...petite. Small. Skinny. There is no shame in it. There is no one (except one crazy in Los Angeles) who is going to put you in a suspended peach basket and spin you around and around while his dick is inside you. Just say what you are and embrace it. You are slim. Slender. Unless you really do go around fucking in circles. Then hey, you are a spinner and more power to you! Captain Obvious does ask one thing...How is it yu are providing a good fuck if you are dizzy from spinning? Hello.

10. Bisexual. I am not bisexual, I am just plain greedy! I love sex with men, women, TS women and other alternatives. (i draw the line at animals. there are some things even I, Mistress SexualAdventures wont do)
DOES IT REALLY MATTER WHO YOU GET IT FROM? As long as you are satisfied at the end, that is all that should matter, in my opinion. If you are a man and have to swallow another man's baby batter in order to get off, what shame is there?? Stop being such.....prudes. Sheesh. People wonder why I am moving to Europe in about ten years. Americans are so.....old fashioned! Hello.

This is my top ten list of banned words. Use them in my presence and I will make like a tree and leaf. Truly. Has living in NYC made me jaded? No, not in the least bit. Living in NYC has made it harder to hide my jadedness (I know that is not a word, shut up!). I mean, I ran over Jane Fonda outside Sephora in Herald Square. She was in my way. Had to go. lol.

Stay tuned for more random musings folks.

Oh my gosh. I need to behave!!

I just read over some of my erotica. Now, some are based on personal experiences, some are pure fantasy. (No, I am not saying which is which. lol. I am working on some more tonight!)

Wow. The ones that are actual true stories....WTF? It is no wonder I will forever be single.

I dont think I posted my fourth of july story. or maybe i have. I woke up from a wild night in Central Park the next morning. It was really wild, I can tell you that much. lol.

Should I behave more? What fun is that though? Eh. i don't like to behave. That is not saying I dont know how to behave, mind you. I can if i HAVE to. If given a choice though, I will not. It is just who I am! lol. I am a mover and shaker, I set the standards! Some people (women and for heaven's sake, some guys who thinks they know what is really going on with providers. lol) have tried to tell me to be this, be that, dont do this, dont do that, yadda yadda. Do I tell them what to do? Of course not. It's not my place, its not my life and really....I dont try to control anyone. People are going to do what they are going to do! lol.

I listen, weigh my options. List the pros and cons of such advice...but, I do what I was going to do anyways!! Now, if the advice I was given made sense and would benefit ME without me sacrificing my principles (aka, if i liked the advice. lol) then I used it. If I thought the person had NO CLUE as to what they were talking about (aka, trying to give me advice on a subject they didnt know about. I like to learn from experience or from those who have experienced what I am questioning) then of course, I am going to toss it to the curb.

Now, my thing is this. I dont give advice unless asked. Why do some feel the need to...I dont know, tell me what I can and cant do? Eh. See that.....hear that whooshing sound? That's whatever you told me flying over my head. lol.

I may seem like a hot mess...but trust me. I know what I am doing. Do you?

take care all!

Khym

Aw...do you miss me? LOL

Okay, okay. I promised I was not going to shoot myself in the foot and I shall stick to that promise. After all, I need to keep in mind the world does not revolve around ME 24/7....this is why I need a spaceship and colonize my very own solar system.

I have been...dipping into my past, for lack of a better way of saying what I want to say, for the past two weeks now, taking trips down memory lane.Talking with a very good friend of mine..who happens to be ex husband number 2.

Oh my!! What is this? Khym Danyels has actually been to the alter twice?? Who were the lucky men?

Well....I wouldn't exactly call them lucky, per se. I am not a morning person....and that is all I am saying. LOL.

Now, I find it really strange. Why is it the affair with ex husband number 2 has lasted longer than our marriage? Yes, you read that right. Our affair (I stole him from his second wife) has been going for TEN FRACKING YEARS!! Can you believe it? I couldn't and was SHOCKED and APPALLED, damn near HURT and OFFENDED when I read the card that came with the flowers. Yes this man sent me flowers and a card marking our ten years. (i am being sarcastic. I almost, almost teared up when I read the card. lol. who marks a ten year affair? lol) I didnt even realize it had been ten years. I sent him an E-card back, as he caught me completely off guard and I had no time to plan. lol.

WHO DOES THAT?? Only the crazies I happen to marry, I suppose. lol. I can not get over he has known me for ten years...and we have been through, between us, a total of 6 relationships and two marriages, and we still have the hots for each other. lol. We have cheated on whoever we were messing with at the time just to be together and DID WE CARE? FUCK NO!. lol.

He is my best guy friend, I won't lie. He has always been there for me, I have always been there for him. (More than just sex, get your mind out the gutters!) When the love of my life kicked me to the curb and left me pissed, he came to see me. (he took leave while stationed in Iraq!) Whenever my invinvible ego is slightly bruised, he is there to patch it up and make my head swollen again. (sigh. I do have bit of an ego problem..I have a huge one! lol)

See, here is the thing. I like having male friends...from all walks of life. I especially like older men because MOST of them arent as stupid as the ones my age. (hee hee). I like having male friends with benefits. I dont want to date anyone....just have someone to shoot ideas off (especially if they are in the business world. lol. hello? I love to network and learn things!), someone to hang out with, someone I actually enjoy talking to and most importantly someone NOT STUPID. lol. As long as both parties keep things kewl (friends with benefits) then there is no room for drama. The last time I tried that....sigh. He was delusional anyways. lol. As if I want to date ANYONE. I dont. I like my freedom. Now, this may seem mean, but its true...."can't make a ho into a housewife". In my case, this fits. I prefer being "the other woman" anyways. lol. less stress on me!

I hope to find someone a bit closer to me than the ex husband....hey!! I shall search for that! a friends with benefits type thing!!

I like being single....and I dont want to give that up anytime soon. lol. We shall see...stay tuned!!

I also like guy friends to help me figure out the males species....so confusing at times! I have questions like...why not just admit you are a dumbass and miss me? LOL. Why hide behind the bravado and the games? What is it like to have a penis? Do guys carry cumrags around? What is with the hands down the pants thing? (I am guilty of that. I tried it once and it was just....so comfortable...lol)

I NEED ANSWERS! lol

OMG, I am in lust. Is this wrong??

I have been working out with videos from Jackie Warner for about three months now.
Is it wrong that I freaking LOVE her???? I know she had a show on Bravo called Workout. I know she is gay.

I am trying to figure out why, i feel like crap on a day I don't use one of her workout videos. I love her body...and the short hair...i think she is...androgynous (and omg, i spelled that word right without spell check) and i think that is why I am so attracted to her. In her workout videos, she is no nonsense. No chippy music, and her words of encouragement sound false. I love that. It makes me give my all for a workout. The videos where the instructor is all happy and crap...annoy me to no end.

The pic above is one of my favorites of her.

Is it wrong for me to lust after a woman who looks like a boy? this isnt the first time i have done so. lol.

i love her and Jeanette Jenkins.

can i have them both at the same time? Their workouts are incredible...but I need another workout of sorts. lol.

its the heat here in NYC...affects brain patterns!

Some Schooling on Screening

I see this subject and debate a lot on many discussion boards tailored to the P4P community….screening.

Some ladies and gents are all for screening, some are against it. I see and understand both sides of this particular argument. Ladies need to feel a certain security when meeting with a potential client. She needs to know the man is not going to come into her bedroom and physically hurt her. Ladies have read or lived the stories of rape, cruelty and want to take measures to prevent such ugly circumstances. These ladies stand firm in their decision to ask for information….real name, a work phone number to verify identity and the gentleman must show a photo id when meeting the lady. I understand these measures as I have been the victim of circumstances that arose due to lack of proper screening. Thankfully, I literally fought my way out of that event, but I was scared for a while afterwards.

On the flip side, being a private person myself, I can understand the argument against screening. Many gentlemen do not want ladies to have access to private information, for fear the lady may use the information to her advantage. (Never a good thing. Look at Tiger Woods and others in the course of history.) People participate in the P4P arena under a cloak of secrecy. They do not want others to know what they are really spending their time and money on. One slip of the tongue and the wife finds out. The home and work life is disrupted and life just goes to hell.

Truly, I do understand both sides of the argument. Loudmouthed women in the mistress business have made it harder for providers to ask for even the most basic information, such as a gentleman’s name. Once again, I do understand the reluctance of the gentlemen. Some ladies may not be willing to bend and reach a compromise and are criticized by others for remaining steadfast in their decisions.

Let me point out something though, to the gentlemen, as I recently had to with a gentleman who wanted to see me but balked at my requests. (He really wanted to see me, so he was gracious enough to ask for an explanation)The harsh truth of the matter is we providers are at the mercy of the gentlemen who see us. Physically, in regards to money, in regards to trust…it is an unfair advantage. The P4P field is lopsided! We ladies do not know who the heck you are. You could be with the dirty L word. You could be a serial killer. You could appear to be charming on the outside and physically abusive when we stand before you naked. These are not imagined fears, as one can read the newspapers to see these horrific stories. These fears live inside of us and surface when we read your email or answer our phone to speak with you. We understand the risks involved with this P4P arena and still continue forward. Requests for basic information are just our way of leveling the playing field. We need to feel, at the very least, a small amount of trust and security when meeting with a gentleman.

Now, some providers ask for everything short of a man’s social security number and blood type. Some may ask for a real name, work phone number, place of work and the like. I am one of them. HOWEVER, once again on the flip side, I do understand the need for privacy! If a gentleman is not willing to divulge that information and has been in the P4P arena for more than a minute, then I fall back on my “second string”. He can use an assumed name and I just ask for provider references. Of course, the provider references must be impeccable. She must have a website, an email address and or phone number and must be a verified provider. I will ask when you met with her, how long have you known her and what information about will you jog her memory of you. This is why I am a member of verification sites such as DateCheck and Preferred411. I also have verified providers as friends and am currently working on meeting more ladies to expand my circle. (Only those I have met face to face are in my circle!) I am one who believes heavily in the “reference system”. I only ask for a real name or whatever when the man is a true newbie to the P4P arena and of course I explain all of this to him. I want him to understand why I ask for what I ask for…and above all, I want him to feel comfortable. The choice to see me is always left up to him. Think about it though…if you are a newbie and submit to my screening, you are allowed to use me as a reference! Being a reference does not mean I share all details of our encounter with another provider. I tell her the information she needs to know…if you are safe or not. If there are special considerations that she needs to know (things pertaining to the overall experience or your health) then I will let her know. I want your experience with her to be enjoyable! On a side note, when I am checking you out by calling your place of work, I have many stories I use. I have been a bill collector, a salesgirl checking up on an order for a client, the aunt who is trying to surprise a nephew…the stories are endless. I come up with some good ones at times. C’mon, am I really going to identify myself as who I really am? Khym Danyels? Please give me some credit.

My take on screening is this. I just need to know you aren’t going to try anything stupid when you and I meet. Personally I do not want to know your real name, where you work and what you do for a living. I don’t particularly care about your life story or how big your house is. Unless you are William Jefferson Clinton or another on my “to do” list, I am going not going to be curious about “who” you are, nor will I really care. Knowledge is a double edged sword. Used correctly it can help a person out. The abuse of knowledge leads to destruction. Quite frankly, the less I know about someone, the better I can cover my ass if things decide to hit the fan. I can honestly say…”I don’t know this person.” The less you know about me the better for you too! Why ruin the fantasy world we create with our real lives and problems? Heck, I have so many stories I sometimes forget what I told to whom. Any screening information I do gather is kept in my head. I never write things down, never keep a paper trail. Heck, phone numbers stored in my work phone are in a code only I know and understand. There are other measure I take to ensure my ass is covered, but I cant tell all my secrets, now can I?

But gentlemen, please don’t knock the ladies who ask for information that establishes your identity whether it be real or assumed. It truly is a safety measure and a way of leveling the playing field. Of course, a gentleman should cover his ass at all times as well. If you feel a lady is asking too much, simply move on to the next. If a lady doesn’t at least ask some questions, I would be a little wary. This is just my personal feeling.

Whenever I explain all of this to someone who is reluctant to share information, they are truly surprised and thankful. Hey, I am just keeping things in perspective, just being myself. Yes, illusion is the name of this game, but at the same time, one needs to take into consideration a few real life things.

Thank you all for reading to my ramblings. Have a great weekend and be safe.

(Damn Bill Clinton is sexy. I don’t have much time left. The man has heart problems….I need to hurry up and ride him. )

When the garters come off...

I have no clue why I am writing this except for the fact I need to post something really silly.


I was just thinking to myself…what DO people do when they think they are alone?

I for instance, dance and rock out loud to pop music. Not just Britney spears and Nsync….I take it to another level. The cheesier the song, the more I LOVE it. Case in point would be “Candy” by Mandy Moore. In fact, I love her whole first album. It just rocks out loud and puts me in a happy mood. I remember when she first came on the music scene! The sweet innocence of my teenage years...sigh. I was 15 or 16 at the time and had just started my first ever real job. I was working in the mall, earning my own money…I felt grown as all hell. That is my sinful indulgence…really corny pop songs. I love all kinds of music from Marilyn Manson to the Beethoven. I especially love…oh lord am I going to lose some cool points here, J-pop. Japanese pop music, especially when it is sung in Japanese. I don’t understand a word that is being said, save a few words here and there, but I love it. There is a series called Chobits and the theme song is called “Let me be with you”. Yes, I rock out loud to this song. I looked up the words online and sing along with it. Its just me and my cats in my apartment, rocking out loud. Of course, my cats just roll their eyes and hide under the bed or on top of the fridge when I am in my “I want to be happy dammit” mood. I can’t say I blame them….I cant carry a tune in a bucket.

See, I grew up during the time New Kids on the Block exploded on the scene. I was in the third grade and was caught up in the frenzy of “boy bands”. The Backstreet boys and Nsync are NOTHING compared to the insanity of NKOTB. We are a special breed of fans and die hard. I never liked the blue eyed, blonde baby of these groups…I always went for the dark brooding ones. Jordan Knight? I am STILL in love with him to this day. Sigh.

I don’t care. I like cheesy pop songs. Barbie Girl by Aqua is one of my theme songs. It is just a feel good song that rocks out loud.
Admit it. You like it too!!

When I grow up...I want to be...

Hello my readers!


OMG! I JUST FIGURED OUT WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW UP!!!

I have been a very, very busy woman living it up here in NYC!! I have been shoving women with children down flights of stairs in order to catch a train, fighting with the local sewer wildlife, taking trips to the Hamptons and generally going insane! This is one of the reasons why I love NYC…it’s a wild ride 24/7! I have been caught up in the go, go, go fever that summarizes NYC. I have talked about being a DJ, pursuing a career in photography and working on launching my own small business as a free lance makeup artist/creative director. All of my interests are tied together by one common thread….the need to make the world pretty. I would love others to view the world as I do…in color, in stereo. Yes, there are areas that are black, some that are white and a lot of gray areas mixed in between. Life is gritty and grimy at times, dark and disgusting. There are also times where the sun is shining brightly and bluebirds are singing in the meadows. I want to capture LIFE. It took me a while to figure this all out and guide all the misdirected thoughts into one direction. My freelance business will be more than just as a makeup artist. I will be an artistic director, if that makes sense to anyone

With this in mind, I want to start right away…which I can not do. I do not have the proper beginning equipment!! I need a damned good camera and have my eye on one. I am drooling over this camera. I am reading up on the specifications, exploring all the features and whistling at bells. I want this camera more than anything.

Photography will go hand in hand with my make up artistry. I need photos to create a portfolio. I don’t trust anyone with my creative visions but me. I can see the picture in my head, all the details. How to create those details, down to the grit of a five a clock shadow run circles in front of me. I can feel the image I want a photo to portray…I can see it!! I can see the feeling.

What brought all of this about? Photography has actually been a long love of mine. As a little girl, I used my father’s camera and took photos of just about everything. (I also wrote and read a LOT. If I wasn’t behind a camera, I was behind a book). I would take photos for special events (dances and graduations, picnics and family gatherings).

I am also going back to school this coming spring. I decided on my major, minor and the school I want. I am completing ALL the paperwork now.

Do I need to get a life? LOL.

In my spare time, I play chess against my computer, write stories and right now? I am teaching myself Algebra all over again. If I am going back to school, I need to bone up on that.....math was never my best subject. I am doing pretty good, if I say so myself!!

Enter the Nerd

Hello dear readers!

I have been quite busy since the last blog post…as always. I took a trip to the Hamptons (fell in love with a bathroom. Yes, I saw my dream bathroom in the living flesh and squealed with delight. It was sooo beautiful. I still have dreams of it) and I am teaching myself the game of chess. It is very hard but I am a fast learner. I am playing against my computer and losing miserably…but learning each time I lose. When I win a game, I will know I am a complete nerd and queen of the world! Nothing relaxes me more after a day of work than a glass of merlot, a game of chess and listening to some Boccelli or Mozart. Please, don’t everyone laugh all at the same time. I am a bit of a brain and will admit I got a sick thrill out of playing chess. I am a planner and love strategy games. Anything that will engage my brain functions gives me a hard on. I love to plot, scheme and execute a game plan. I do not know why I haven’t picked up the game of chess earlier in life. I find myself analyzing….oh, I could go on for days about the game of chess! I do apologize.

I am also writing a book!!! Yes, there is a story to be told and I will tell it. I am not sure if it will go anywhere, but I have already written a good deal of it. What is the plot? A young woman making her way in NYC with the economy in shambles as it is. That is all I am going to divulge at this time! It will be fictional, of course. My prose is horrible at worst, but that is why editors get paid the big bucks, correct? I am just kidding. I don’t want editing to take away from the story (or the story to get lost in the editing) so I am doing it myself. I am also going to write some more erotica and hopefully have them published. Did I mention I was a nerd?

I am still working on the layout of my newsletter…I have to work fast, as I want the first issue sent out on the first of July.

I am also cursing the fact lawmakers in Albany increased the tax on tobacco. A pack of cigarettes will now cost about 13 dollars. I sense a conspiracy afoot, as there is new media targeting smokers and urging them to quit. WTF is going on here in New York? The MTA (my favorite subject to bitch about) has also lost their minds….I love living in NYC. It’s a catch-66. What is a catch-66? It is a catch-22 three ways. You are damned if you do, cursed if you don’t and stupid if you do something about nothing. That is the only way I can explain living in NYC…it’s a catch-66.

I do not foresee any relaxation time anytime soon. I would love to begin touring this July…but that may have to hold off a bit. I will see how things go in my professional and personal life.



Of course, if I write a book it will be under a pen name. I don’t want to give up providing anytime soon!

Til we meet dear readers,



Khym Danyels

How to break up..For the Providers in the Hobby

It is only fair to write a guide for the women in this hobby too!! I wrote one for the them....now to tell women how to be an asshole and get rid of the client that just wont go away.

1. Give him a horrible bj...better yer, none at all!! This is a surefire way to have him never see you again!
2. Tell him you love him like no other man you have met in your life.
3. The condom broke....DADDY!!!!!!
4. The tests came back positive.
5. Tell him all sorts of weird things about youself. Make stuff up if you have to. Tell him how much you want to be accepted for who you really are, how lonely you are and when you are nervous you tweeze your chin hairs. Whatever it takes to convince him you are just too weird to be around.
6. Act like a drunk cokehead when you two are out in public together. Be loud in public, get wasted and announce to the world that you are a hooker...and the man beside you is paying for EVERYTHING!!. also say he is the one who supplied the "party favors"..and will cut you a good deal if you buy from him.
7. Send him at least five emails a da. The max per day is ten though. Talk about nothing and everything. Act bitchy in one email and then send another one immediately apologizing. Send him another email demanding an answer followed by one saying nevermind the previous email. Never call, always email. This works especially if someone is glued to their inbox all damn day.
8. If he starts to act like as though he has a real interest in you then show a "real" interest in him! You will be accused of acting like you think of him as a boyfriend but he will quickly disappear. (warning, you will also be accused of acting psycho)
9. Ask for "real" help. Tell him you  need bail money or you just got evicted and need a place to live. You will never hear from him again. LOL.
10. Act jealous. This is the easiest way to start drama, thus getting a guy to leave you alone.


For bonus points...act clingy. Act like he is the only true friend you have...and when he finally does tell you its over, be the uber professional bitch you really are!! lol.

How to break up....Hobby Style! For the men in the hobby...

This is for the men and women in this industry. Sometimes we meet someone and sparks fly. She is single, he is single, there is chemistry, mutual attraction, lines may become blurred. There comes a time when the chemistry fades and you want to move on...but how? You can do it politely and professionally....OR you can be a complete asshole. The method you choose depends on what type of character the other person is. You also have to ask yourself if you want this connection to be completely burned. I have compiled a list for men and women on how to break up with someone....asshole style.

For the Men:
1. Tell her you love her, want to marry her and make an honest woman out of her.
2. Tell her you just lost your job and would love to still see her.
3. Ask for a freebie after the first date. Don't try to be slick about it. Just ask outright
4. Tell her your parents/kids would love to meet her. Have your kids call her "Daddy's Special Friend"
5. Insist on the fact that she loves you and wants to be with you....even though she had told you repeatedly that is not the case. Her actions also prove her case...but ignore all that. You are in the right, she is in the wrong. Twist all her words in any conversation. Make sure you make her feel stupid and inferior even when she asks an innocent question (like, if she asks you how your day is going, tell her its going to hell but you dont need her to boost your ego today.) Let her know she is trying to trap you and you dont appreciate that. Never compliment her, always put her down. Everything she says is an attempt to make you her boyfriend.
6. Tell her the tests came back positive.
7. Tell her all your character flaws in an attempt to get her to open up to you. Tell her the sob stories, yadda yadda. Do this for every conversation/email/IM you tow exchange. When she finally opens up to you, cut her off, call her delusional and tell her that you cant handle her drama.
8. Ask for her real name. If she won't give you her real name, tell her she is cut off. No more drugs, no more extra gifts, no more money.
9. Act possessive when you two are together. Act upset when she greets another man or isnt't completely focused on you. At the same time, you are to greet every woman you know with a wink, a smack on the ass and explain to your "date" that you like providers. This is what you do. (double standard type thing)
10. Give her really bad sex. Horrible. A chick can only take so much faking it. Don't get her off, don't pleasure her in any way. Promise her sexual fantasies come true and never fulfill them. She will get tired of the bullshit eventually. Make sure you havent showered in a couple days when you see her. Add stank breath for bonus points.

Do any of these and you will have that provider running from you!! for ever!! lol.

God Bless the Fracking Subway...MTA!!!

God Bless the Fracking NYC Transit…..MTA!!!

One of the most awesome perks of living in NYC is riding the subway to anywhere in NYC. Who takes a cab? Who drives? The only fools who drive are the ones with a death wish and those with a disposable income take a cab. (Yes, many eons ago, I learned to drive on the streets of Midtown. You do NOT know how to drive unless you have successfully made it twenty blocks north on 7th Avenue without a single scratch or dent…and your body count is a mere 3) For the rest of us insane morons that choose to live in NYC we are left with two options. Take the subway or walk. (walking is often the better option, as the train system has been experiencing signal problems lately) I love taking the train…when I do not have to be at a specific place at a specific time. I don’t understand this phenomenon but when I get onto a train I doze off. It can be noon or three pm or 2 am-when I get on a train I doze off. If I am not careful, I fall asleep and miss my stop. This is for ANY train. Trains relax me. Car trips always annoyed the hell outta me.

Now that I have lost track of….the whole subject matter, let me get back on track. I love riding the train, when it is working properly. Part of living in a major city is riding the train system. I rode the DC Metro all over the place (including the bloodiest and most dangerous summer, 2009. That red line crash near Takoma Park? I was on that train in the fourth car. The time someone fell onto the tracks in McPhearson Square and also at West Falls Church? Yup again!! I was on those trains. The train whose brakes failed at Pentagon City? I smelled like smoke for a whole day because I couldn’t leave the fucking station. No, I am not bad luck!!) and I have ridden the subway in Philly and Los Angeles (who knew LA had a subway system?? I sure as hell didn’t! I was so thrilled when I found it…but my keeper freaking came to collect me before I could take the hell off. Lol) In any major city, one will find a subway…and one must ride on it at least once. The NYC trains are a lot older than the DC ones…and you don’t hear of nearly as many deaths. (2009 was a really bad year for anyone on the DC Metro….yikes )



The funny thing about trains is no matter what city you are in, you will run into these problems:

1. Some loud ass kids (usually girls) squealing and cutting up. Makes you want to push them onto the third rail. You only hear them when you are dead ass tired and just want a little peace and quiet. Even better, the “band” that plays in the stations or on the trains themselves. Bongo drums are great, but not when you are stuck in a car full of cranky people at the end of the workday.

2. Someone swinging around the pole. Hell, I have done that before. I see a pole and have to swing around it

3. Some homeless man covered in newspapers smoking a blunt…on the train. Doesn’t even share with you, that fucker. Yet, he will have the NERVE to ask you for a sandwich.

4. The Jesus freak that seems to only be on the train when you are…asking for “donations” and preaching at the top of his lungs

5. The crazy old lady sewing some tattered string. If she looks crazy and has sharp objects in her hand…stay away!

6. A rat skittering across the train platform or the one who threatens your life if you don’t hand over whatever food you have. Train rats and roaches are no joke. Don’t try to fight them…just hand over whatever they ask for. They are KNOWN to hold grudges and will make sure your trip is as unpleasant as possible. They have a whole network and can contact other rats/roaches at other stations…trust me!!!!! DON’T FUCK WITH THE TRAIN WILDLIFE! It makes for an embarrassing but funny story if you survive. (hey, remember that time I was jacked for my iPod by that crazy ass rat? He had his boys with him and everything…I had no choice. I saw what they did to the guy in front of me who refused. He is now laying on the third rail looking stupid)

7. If you have to be someplace at a specific time…you will be late. It’s a fact of life on any train in any major city. The train will “be held momentarily due to traffic on the track”…..IT HALTS A STOP AWAY FROM WHERE YOU HAVE TO GET OFF!! Or some medical emergency happens in the car in front of you. I am sorry. If you are over the age of 60 and you want to ride the train…have an aide with you. Have a walker or something…that way you don’t fall and crack your goddamned skull open and hold up the train I am on. Don’t even think of riding an express train….just fucking don’t unless you are up for an adventure and have no life. Express does not mean faster….it just means more fucking confusion.

8. You are running down the stairs, flying down the platform to catch the train (as you are of course, running late) and some slow ass in front of you decides to halt and act lost. You have no clue how many people I have shoved out the way. Men, women, children, mothers with strollers…I don’t fucking care. You are in my way and I have to make this train. That is why on any staircase/escalator in any train station you will see signs…slow asses to the right so the rest of us can race up the left hand side of the stairs. That is my NUMBER ONE pet peeve. Slow asses who act like they are in their own little world. Those who stop directly in front of me. They sense someone is breathing down their neck….and they just HALT. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that.

9. The train map/schedule shown in each station is not the same route the train follows. I promise. You have to decode the damn routes, coordinate and synchronize your watches, plan ahead and just hope for the best. The express train runs on the middle tracks from this time to this time….and skips the stop you want. So, you make sure you are on the track the express doesn’t run on (the local track). Little did you know, there is track work being fucking done and you, not paying any goddamned attention, hop on the train (then again, there were no signs posted, no announcements or any fucking thing) and it’s an express train using the local track. Now, you are in New Roc City wondering how in the fuck you got there when you were supposed to be in Astoria 3 days ago. Remind me to tell you of the time I went from the Bronx to midtown…and caught the wrong train THREE TIMES. Then I tried to catch a Queens bound train from Midtown later that night…took me 2.5 hours just to make it to Queens! There is no method to the madness that is the MTA. You can’t plan a trip. Just…hop on a train with a general idea of where you would like to end up and hope for the best. If you are lucky and catch a no nonsense conductor, you should be 6 blocks from your final destination and only half an hour late. Does the MTA even have timetables???? It wouldn’t matter if they did….they don’t follow them anyways.

10. You will always see something fucking just….crazy on a train. In Philly, I saw a guy masturbating. In NYC, I have seen something I want to try LOL. This guy and girl were standing against a pole on the A train…and the girl had a skirt on. Yes, they were having sex in case you are a slow ass and I have to spell it out for you. (get a clue, duh) Los Angeles….I wasn’t on it long enough to really get into the whole subway scene…like I said, my keeper knew I had found a subway and was about to TAKE THE FUCK OFF (not to be seen for a long, long time)…..so he came and picked me up from a train station. I will go back out there though and fully explore Los Angeles via subway. In DC….I have done crazy shit on a train. LOL. I have gotten on a train drunk as shit (talk about fun times) and somehow, wound up halfway naked on the train floor…at 1 am. I don’t know how. My boyfriend was sitting on the seat laughing at me, that is all I can really remember.

Just keep these things in mind when riding a subway anywhere….and you will be okay. You will scream in frustration at that moment…but man!! You will have THE BEST DAMN STORIES EVER!!



I love NYC. I really do.

Current Wish List...

When one reads a wish list from a woman, they expect the typical womanly items. Perfume, candy, clothers, lingerie, shoes, handbags.

I am one of those weird women. My list isn't typical and has some pretty amazing stuff on it. The one thing in common with other lists...the things on here are certainly not cheap!!

1. Mac Book Pro in black if I can get it. The one with the 500GB storage. http://store.apple.com/us/configure/MC372LL/A?mco=MTc0Njg1ODg this is for entertainment, movies, pictures, movies...all media.

2. Olympus EP-2 Camera  http://www.olympusamerica.com/cpg_section/product.asp?product=1482
3.HP Touchsmart TM2 laptop http://www.hp.com/united-states/campaigns/touchsmart/#/TouchSmart-Tm2 this is for work, business related things. I want all the bells and whistles, max storage...lol
4, Adobe MasterSuite Collection http://www.adobe.com/products/creativesuite/mastercollection/
5. Playstation 3 and PSP...of course!! I love video games!! http://us.playstation.com/index.htm
6. I want my own creative studio here in NYC to serve as my base camp. That is something I will get for myself, as it involves the buying of propert. Unless I can rent to own. That would be awesome!!!
7, A new Blackberry. As always, I am hard on phones...and have cracked the screen of mine. lol. I need a new one...one that can keep up with me. I do want the Droid by Verizon. That thing is sick!! http://phones.verizonwireless.com/motorola/droid/

Yes, I am a woman on a mission! I like the newest things in technology..I always have. Some call it being a nerd, I call it being curious. (and a tad bit nerdy. lol)

This does not mean I will refuse shopping sprees on Fifth Avenue or Rodeo Drive. Bloomingdale's, BG, Saks, Chanel, Dior, Armani, Fendi, Louboutin....lol. I do love my labels. For underwear? La Perla hugs my curves like a dream come true. lol.

Business Woman looking to diversify....

(yes, the pic is of me)

I have always been on the lookout for ways to make money. To make my name known throughout the world.

I am still building my own version of TER...my own discussion board. A place where men and women can review each other. TER is great...but its run by a select clique. Well, three of them to be exact. One thing I do no like is the fact that some moderator's take advantage of their positions on there...which isn't too much when one sits down and thinks about it. This is not true for all moderators, of course. There are some on there who believe in the true purpose of the site. Others are on there simply because they do not have a life outside the hobby. If you read throught the various discussion boards, you can see which moderator's have a life and which don't.

But enough about that site. It has the good and the bad of this industry. I wanted to create my own discussion board/forum. Would there be reviews? Perhaps in time. For right now, I just want a site that will showcase all sides of this industry. From the high end practically out of reach providers to the one who is low volume.  From the porn stars to the webcam ladies. From the BIG to the MEDIUM and to the TINY women in this industry. To the male providers....to the TS women. (my favorites. sigh. I am so jealous of them.)

This is just one project I have going on. The other project is that of Creative Consultant. What the heck is that you may ask? You need a website put together? You need a makeup artist/stylist? You need a blog post written? You need an ad written? I am the one for you!! I am self taught on many many subjects...and thankfully I have a talent. I have an "eye". I know what looks good. I can mix and match and put together crazy elements to make something simply wonderful. Of course, I will get the proper certifications (to add to my already huge collection)

When one thinks about it...it is like a Jenna Jameson thing. She trademarked herself. Her name is known all over the place! The world!! She created the name, the image. Marketing, planning, investing....that woman put her nose to the grindstone and created an empire. I hope to do the same. My true love is cosmetics. I want my own cosmetics line. My own lingerie line.  I need to wander around Parson's New School of Design and find someone who wants to make a name for themselves...I need some outfits. lol.

I also love photography...remember, I said I had an "eye". I can see the shot in my head...how the pose should be, the lighting....and I coach my subject (if it is human) into the position in order to get the shot. Another form of OCD?? Perhaps. I do not know and really do not care. I know what I want out of life and I will get it.

Mondays are my rhinking days. My brainstorming day. The day I spend a full 24 hours on the computer basically. I review what sites I am on, take a look at where the hits to my site are coming from, write ads for the following week (if it is a weekly ad. for a monthly ad...I only do those once a month). I jot down ideas, I network online, make phone calls, catch up with the few friends I do have...Mondays are my admin days. Sometimes, it spills over into Tuesday.

I am a woman that likes to stay busy! I have many projects going on....and right now, I am trying to consilidate them. I need an LLC that will house all of my different projects....which means I have to create a site for that and do all the marketing....lol. I need to build up portfolios and the like....fun times ahead.

Stay tuned!! Woman on the move!

I can't find a song!!!! A letter to the DJ.....

My mind races at a million and 2 miles an hour. My memory is very good, but it is habit for me to write things down in a language only I understand. (no one wants to see my filing system....its soo weird)

Dear Radio Station Manager,

I am one of your most devoted listeners. I listen to your station all day, every day even though you play the same 10 songs.
Sometimes after a song is played, the DJ will announce what song was just played. This is good for those of us who wish to write down the info...and go straight to the laptop and download it via Limewire.

However, sometimes the DJ does not give the song info. This happened to me, your most devoted listener today. I was crossing the Whitestone Bridge into The Bronx when I heard a song. I really liked it and it helped me not focus on the fact I was crossing a bridge. (i am scared of falling in to the water below).

Hold on while my mind skips to a random thought...I wonder what I will eat for dinner tomorrow? Steak perhaps....and now I am back at the matter at hand.

Due to the fact the song info was not given by the DJ, I had to make a note of the song...what the hook was and who I thought sung it.  If I do not write down something I want to remember at ASAP....the thought passes. LAX and JFK don't have as many flights as my thoughts do. Since I had to make some notes...after crossing the bridge, I had to pull off to the right side of the road...from the left side. A good 5 lanes of road...during rush hour. I am sure I will receive a paper from someone's attorney requesting compensation for trauma and emotional damages...perhaps physical. Who knows? if so, I will forward the bill to you.

Please have your DJ's announce all song info...the scene on Whitestone Bridge could have been more serious than it was.

Also tell Angie Martinez her website is whack and please inform her that NO ONE uses Myspace anymore.



Thank you.

But...I''m with the DJ!!!!

I have two new projects I want to pursue.

Well, three if you count getting a new laptop. The one I have now is....sigh. The keys are sticking. Grrr...
Anyways,  I want to be a DJ!!!!!!!!! Music is my first love (cheeseburgers and makeup running a close second with computers bringing up the rear in third0. My iTunes has...well before the 6 crashes, it had 5000 songs. Now I am pushing 2000 songs. I have to be careful until I can get a new computer..my hard drive is about to die any minute now....sigh. My poor laptop has been thru soo much.

The second project I want to pursue is photography. Yes, you read that right. I don't want to photograph just still life and buildings...I want to photograph LIFE. I live in color. I am always moving, always on the go.

Being my own photographer has it's benefits...I am also a free lance makeup artist and can build up my portfolio. When I get into the fashion industry....lol. Being my own photographer will save me a lot of money on marketing costs.

Being a DJ is just fun. I love music....

When it comes down to it, I am just creative....and love expressing myself any way I can. So maybe I will be the Rockin SinfulAngel of NYC? Who knows. I m researching this. I just want to be a DJ!!!!

Being a photographer is a bit more technical...I am not sure if I will attend school or not. I am still an aspiring computer programmer of course..and will begin earning my degree this fall. I am excited about that. I have always been good at coaching people into a good photo...I have an eye for what looks good or not. I want to be able to use this talent in a meaningful way....besides being a make up artist.

So now, off to do more research on becoming a DJ!!!!

An ant may well destroy a dam.....

The topic of religon is a touchy one with most people. Religon has a long history of violence, brainwashing, heartache, drama and money. Jealous gods, people jealous of the gods and those "chosen" by the gods to lead followers...and of course, destruction. Have you noticed how most religons focus on a doomsday? These teachings scare the followers into obedience, hence the brainwashing. I am one who does not agree with this particular way of practice. Oh, and let's not forget....questions are NOT allowed. No one dares question the authority of appointed religous leaders or hoy scriptures. The word is law....to defy is to die. (in a sick way, that little motto has a nice ring to it. oh my)

A friend of mine recently decided (or perhaps has been entertaining this idea for many years, i am not sure) to become a practicing Buddhist. I was delighted for him when I first found out....perhaps he would find the way to silence his inner demons and live a more peaceful life. When I say peaceful, I mean a way of coping with all the hurts and pains daily life throws at someone. His re awakening (I guess that is what one could call it) made my mind whirl. I have always been curious about Eastern religons and did some research on a few.

Buddhism attracts me because it eencourages independent thought. You are given guidance and what you do is up to you. You can either choose the path shown or go another route. There is no definitive hell, no fires and no brimstone. While he chose another Buddhist path, I am researching the Kadampa Buddhist path. I may even take a trip to a meditation center this week!! (can you say field trip?)

I am giving this much thuoght and hope I can just find out some answers to my questions....which is all I really wanted anyways. I want to be able to ask questions...and get answers.

We shall see!!

Hmm...Recent Readings on a Discussion Board

I am a member of many discussion boards. Some I am more active on than others. Every now and again, I come across a post made by someone that just impresses me to no end. The wording, the topic choice...these are factors that determine if i will respond with my own personal thoughts or not. Some people will post something stupid in an attempt to start drama....these posts I tend to avoid. Of course, every now and again, the evil in me rears its ugly head and I happily dive first into the train wreck.

One of my favorite discussion board sites happens to be TER. If you are reading this blog of mine, then I do not need to go into an explanation of what TER is. Hee Hee. My favorite board on TER is the General Discussion board. I will post on there when I feel like interacting with others in the hobby community. I do it for fun really. I even created the Hump Day report, a recap of all the discussions that took place in a week's time. Really, between you and me....I enjoy writing. i write when the mood strikes me, of course. Sometimes it is a good way to vent.

Anyways, back to the discussion boards and my love of writing....I read a post by a young lady about client/provider boundaries. It was well worded, polite but still driving home her point. It was not demeaning to anyone, no names were called, her intentions were to impart a message. Her post also left room for discussion...which, is the whole point of a discussion board. Her post was a much needed breath of fresh air. Other ladies had posted their rants and raves...and sounded like bitching wives. Point blank. There is no other way to describe it. Filled with animosity, hatred, putting others down...eew. Distasteful. Was all the bitching necessary? Really. A provider who bitches about clients on a P4P site....is just stupid, if you ask me.

Sigh.

When will some understand the concept of thinking before they type?

Summer in the City.....I can't wait!!!!

Summer is almost here in NYC. Baseball season has (finally) started, trees have leaves, pollen has clogged my pores....hooray. The weather in NYC is a fickle beast. One day it is hot as a June day, the next it is cold as February. I do not try to understand this...I just go with the flow and hope I do not catch a darn summer cold.

With the arrival of warmer weather comes the desire to walk the streets naked. Yes, you read correct. Walk the streets naked. I am one who does not like the heat. I like a cool breeze blowing across my skin. I actually prefer darn near sub zero temperatures. I am the crazy who leaves windows wide open during the winter. Heat is for those who like to pay a heating bill. My philosophy is this...it is easier to warm up than it is to cool down. Ta da!! I win a prize for my logic!! It makes perfect sense!!

The heat also brings out the crazies...boy am I in the perfect location for that!!! I look forward to my first summer here in NYC. I can almost promise you I will see at least one naked person in Times Square. Someone WILL run across Broadway and West 34th butt naked. Someone's breast will pop out of a bra. Fights will be INSANE as the price of gas rise and tempers flare. I do not wish for a bloody summer...but it will be an interesting one.

This is why I plan on traveling to LA when I need to escape. Hee hee.

Stay cool everyone!!

The death of Common Sense...Why?

I am confused and trying to sort something out, yet again.

Where did all of the common sense in the world go? Who killed common sense? Why? What purpose would killing common sense serve?

Yes, the human species at times, never ceases to amaze me.  The owner of Jennifer Convertible furniture stores hits and KILLS  a man here in NYC....and is being charged with a DUI. No mention of manslaugher charges or anything of the sort. This man will be charged with a DUI. Hopefully, that story has changed since I last heard it two days ago.  http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2010/04/16/us/AP-US-Furniture-CEO-Charged.html

I am so confused and desperately trying to make sense of it all. A man hits a person on the road. He drives away, leaving the "speed bump" to fend for itself. He doesn't get out of the car to check on the "speed bump" he hit or anything....just drives away. How is this man, when caught, only charged with a damned DUI? There must be a crack on the justice system...dare I type it? There must be CORRUPTION in the justice system. I am feverently hoping this man's family is able to find a darned good attorney...and sue the living heck out of this CEO if the proper charges are not filed and proper punishment administered.

This story simply amazes me and I am curious to what deals are being made behind closed doors. I also would like to know who Mr. Harley Greenfield first called. Who ever he called has some CLOUT.....and those are the people I like to be around.
 You jusr never know!

I read something last month about the death of common sense. Pretty funny stuff.

http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/commonsen.htm

if this is not the truth, then I do not know what is.

Here is your sign....Stuck on Stupid.

I wonder sometimes.

I wonder if I turned off the iron before I leave the house, if I turned off all the lights. If I made sure I took something out of the freezer for dinner. I wonder if I charged my phone. I wonder if today will be the day a car hits me. (this is why I tell everyone to make sure one is in the crosswalk and they have the walk signal.) I wonder about a lot of things, just like anyone else on this planet.

I wonder when the stupid people of the world will finally DIE and leave the smart ones in charge.  The fact of the matter is, stupid people run this world. Why? Because the smart ones are waiting. They are waiting for the dumb ones to finish destroying this world. It makes sense on some twisted dimension. Let the stupid ones kill themselves off. Let them destroy the world as it is known today. Then the smart ones will either rebuild this world stupid people free (if they haven't already moved to another planet in a distant universe) or heck. Just move to another distant universe.

I am one who sees "through" things. If someone is trying to tell me the sky is purple and has supposed proof, I am going to question the proof. Especially when I look up and the sky is still just as blue as ever. If you try to tell me it is going to cost me fifty dollars to fix a damaged Xbox hard drive...hmm. I am going to stop and pause. I will do my research first and see if it is possible to fix the hard drive. I am going to shop around and see who is going to offer me a good repair deal. I am going to weigh the pros and cons....is it cheaper to just buy a new one? I would do this even if I did not have knowledge about computers, gaming systems and hard drives.

Speaking of which...I just looked up the problem online...and I can actually fix it in under two hours and for about the cost of a liter of Mt Dew...and a pack of cigarettes.

Back to the problem of the stupids running this world into the ground...
So, if one puts forth a little bit of effort and rely on themselves, they can actually accomplish a lot of things. Wait! Why do that when it is easier to just pass the buck? Let someone else fix the problem...but hurry them up, as the world revolves around your schedule. Then, when you get the product back and it is still crap....holler and scream some more.

I did not know being stupid was so much work! It is much easier to figure things out, I think.

When things get too crazy, I just hop on my broom and fly away! In the meantime, I shall take my common sense and join the others hiding out. I hear stupid is a contagious disease.

Spring and the Single Woman in NYC

I am not sure where this post will wind up. This idea suddenly came to me and I am literally typing as I go along.

So, the weather has gotten nice here in NYC for the past week or so. I have thought about hitting the bars, dancing the night away...but eh. Perhaps I am too old and career driven? I know I mentioned in an earlier post I wanted to find ways to relax...even if I had to force myself to. The sad thing is..I don't know too many people here in NYC...so I do not know where to go. Stomping around Manhattan gets a little old after the tenth time.

Oh! I have an idea! I could always pick out my favorite coffeeshops! I had three of them in DC. These were coffeeshops I always hung out at when I wanted to be outdoors and still work. Ah man, just thinking about DC has me a little teary. I miss Dupont and Logan Circles. I miss P and 14th Street. I miss having a Whole Foods two blocks away from me. The only Whole Foods I know of in NYC is in Union Square...and that is a long train ride.

I still love living in NYC though. It is going to take some adjusting on my part!

So, with spring in the air, the age old saying comes to mind. Spring flowers turning thoughts of fancy to love or some crap like that. Yes, I mangled that saying and I apologize to all of those who use it. I apologize to the one who thought it up. I just can not think of the correct saying at this time. Oopsie. I have noticed something. I have no interest in dating anyone outside of "work". Why? I have always had high standards when it comes to choosing a partner. I suppose this is why I have remained single. Any attempts at acting like a real human and having a realationship....eh. The outcome was just not pretty. No, wait, I correct myself. It was pretty...pretty silly and embarassing. Yikes. Anyways, this fact coupled with the fact I have been completely spoiled by the males species as an adult entertainer....yah. I have NO CHANCE at having a normal relationship. Does this make me sad? Shockingly..no. I have always been a gay man trapped in a lesbian's body. (dont ask what my sexuality is. It varies from day to day). I am the type of woman who enjoys tearing it up at a strip club...and do not mind if anyone I was committed to wanted to do the same. The only thing I asked was that he not frequent the same strip club as me. If a man I was dating wanted to go out with the boys and act stupid....fine by me. Why? My feeling is this. The fact that I am in a committed relationship does not mean my life stops....nor would I want my partner's life to stop. That is where I think a lot of couples screw up. They quit living the life they were living!! They enter into a relationship and live solely for that partner. See? Tell me I am wrong. I think you will have a hard time saying so, once you sit down and really think about it.

Being an adult enterrainer has....well, I wouldn't say jaded me but rather, has made me aware of a few things. I have been completely spoiled. If I were to date someone outside of this hobby, he would have big shoes to fill. I am used to being wined and dined, taken to plays, taken out shopping....really. I am used to being treated as something special, as a priceless work of art. Not fragile, but with respect and dignity. That is all I ask really. Something so simple and so many people mess that up! I don't understand.

So, what is a single lady to do in the city during the spring?

Run outdoors instead of on the treadmill I guess. Hunt all of Manhattan for that perfect coffeeshop.
Practice my kendo outdoors instead of slicing up my ceiling in my apartment. (I probably should touch it up with some plaster or paint before the super sees it)

So, my mind is always on other things. I simply do not have the time to enter into a serious relationship with anyone!!!! Thankfully, I am working on getting a real life. We shall see...............

Congrats to those in DC who love to show their ass..,,,,

Okay, I have to jot down a quick note about the current drama in DC...which is more than all the daytime soap operas and the OC put together. Seriously,the passage of this healthcare reform has brought out the best and worst in folks. It makes me shed a small insignicant tear when I read stories of senators making public threats against their own colleagues....aw, look at the grown ups at work. Screaming during session! Let me not even speak of the Reconcilliation bill on the Congress floor now! While a filabuster is not allowed, unlimited amendments are. You can bet your sweet behind these are piling up...rapidly. What I fail to understand is the lack of common sense. Why throw such a public temper tantrum?? My favorite saying is "are ya serious?". Wow is all I can say. The one senator with the silliest amendments (the current count as of this morning was 14) is Senator Tom Coburn. Hey, I did not even know who this man was until two days ago!!! Now, he has made a not so favorable impression on me. I understand the tactic of adding senseless amendments to stall for time, but could he have not come up with..i dont know, better ones? We shall see.

Warm weather in nyc?? What??

Are your serious? Today it is about 70 degrees here in NYC!! Just last week, a nasty rainstorm tore the tri state area apart. The weeks before that, snow and the bitter cold. Now it's summer time. Would this be considered global warming?? Or could one say the ozone layer finally gave up the battle for survival and left the planet to fend for itself?? If I were the ozone, I would have done the same...I cannot lie about that!!!

So what does one do when the weather is warm as summer time? I haven't taken a break in so damn long, I have no clue what to do. I am always focused on my life and my next move. I would stop and smell the roses but vendors here in NYC charge you 2 dollars a sniff. Yes, fresh air is at a premium here in the city. I am not complaining about that...but I am still conplaining about the fact a pack of smokes is ten fucking dollars!

So, I still wear a light jacket when I go outside  I am not taking any chances with this fickle weather and catchimng a damn cold. Sigh. I hate being sick. So, this is my blog post about NOTHING. Now I need to grab a shower and enjoy the most of this day.

Peace out!!

Birthday Plans..What a trp!!!

I have been planning my 30th birthday bash ever since I turned 25. I am now 29...and  my birthday is in January. I know I am not old by any standard...but I feel like I am old

I figure if someone turns 30, it is a major milestone. One is supposed to have a huge party, celebrate the milestone and prepare for the next phase of their life. I am one who has never really celebrated my birthday...as I am normally working or doing something....just something!!! lol. Since turning 30 is a miletone (and sigh. I am going to have to grow the hell up now, eh???? WTGDF) I thought about going to Las Vegas and having a huge party there..but that would be kinda sad...as no one would be at the party!! So, I have finally decided...I am taking a trip....by myself of course. I think I need time to relax and enjoy some solitude.
I have come up with a list of places I am considering.

Number one on my list is the Atlantis Hotel in Dubai. What is in Dubai? Oil fields and this damn hotel....nothing else really. The thing is..this hotel  is on a man made island...in the shape of a palm tree!! The hotel is luxurious, 24/7 butler, grown and sexy playground...and expensive as all hell. Sheesh. Maybe this wont be such a good idea.

My second choice is Scotland. I have always wanted to visit Scotland...see the sexy kilts, hairy legs, watch a real live rugby match...Scotland is a land steeped in tradition and magic. Yes, I am almost 30..and a tiny tiny part of me still believes in magic. (its the Native American and Irish in me...bogs, misty rains, fairies and spirits). I just want to see rolling green hills I guess. Yes, I am a city girl..but I think a trip to someplace remote is in order. It's either Scotland or Ireland...I just want to hear that sexy accent!! Dance in a rain puddle! Run through the Highlands (well, a part of it...) I want to wake up early and practice my kendo in the dawn light! (as if I would ever get up that early)

I do have a third choice...China. I want to see and feel the rich history of that country. Experience the wonder and the mystery and all the history!!

So, I havent narrowed it down yet, but I am already saving the money i will need. Will I let anyone treat me? Chances are, no. I am funny like that. This is my milestone..and I want to treat myself. I am so used to being single and having to do for myself...it is hard for me to allow anyone to treat me. LOL. This also explains why I am still single..and will remain so! LOL

Snow and an Angel Update

So, NYC is in the midst of yet another snowstorm...go figure. Snowstorms in the winter is a common occurence here in the NorthEast USA...

Business is kind of slow, so I thought i would catch up on some important things pertaining to my business..and other aspects of my life.

I am one who likes to stay busy. I am a Courtesan, have a weekly column (of sorts) on one of the most popular discussion boards in this industry, I am a free lance makeup artist and I am a ghostwriter for other courtesans.

I do enjoy my life..as it is centered around business. One thing that has always fascinated me is politics. Since moving to NYC and trying to settle myself..I have lost a bit of touch with the goings on in DC and the world. The last I remember, I was reading the proposed health care bill....you know, the one with the mandatory participation? Legal documents have always fascinated me as well. Today, I am catching up on a lot of things..and re reading the proposed legislation. I am one who likes to stay in the know, so to speak.

So..that is what I am doing today. I am checking up on the White House, seeing what is going on...

and will start some fights on political discussion boards later on today. LOL. I love a lively debate.

Oh, and I need to send an email to Mayor Bloomberg..to hell with the sanitation department working overtime to clear the streets of NYC and such...why is it...a pack of smokes is freaking ten dollars?????? Excuse me, this is the most pressing situation this ciry has ever faced...and I would like an answer..and a resolution!!!

First Lady M. Obama and Let's Move!!!

Can I say how impressed I am with the First Lady of the USA??? I was listening to the Steve Harvey show yesterday morning (I love that show..cracks me up!) and Mrs. Obama was a guest speaker.

She was speaking about her "Let's Move" program...which bored me at first..but then, I heard a specific detail of this program that made me say..."wait, this could actually work:". Yes, she is trying to get children to eat healthier as the current generation...omg. Did you know one in every three kids in America today is overweight? That number is scary, as vague as it is. I assume she means children under the age of 13. Either way, that number is just plain scary.

So, the one detail about her program that changed my first impression of it? Her statement of...and this is not an exact quote, mind you...but she asked how can she ask parents to go buy fresh fruits and make healther food choices for their children when they have to hike all the way across town to do so? When the neighborhood they live in hasnt seen a corner grocer in about 20 years or so? In order to combat this speed bump...and this is truly genius..she also wants to open grocery stores in neighborhoods that dont have any!!! Apparently, this is a problem in Philadelphia PA and southern Chicago. Now, let's take a moment and think about the implications of such a...endeavor. Putting grocery stores in neighborhoods would improve the local econonmy..as it would provide jobs, people would be spending money that goes right back into the community. It would offer healthy eating choices...and believe me, when you have the choice between taco bell and a 45 minute commute..most times, you are going with the Taco Bell around the corner. I live in NYC..and the only Whole Foods store I know of is in Union Square. Are ya serious?? That is a 45 minute subway ride for me...25 if I take a different route. These are just some of the benefits of this program! I am sure there are more..especially the health of our children. This ONE detail of the Let's Move program is what impressed the hell out of me. This program was well thought out...and I hope it does well.

Kudos to the First Lady...for creating a program that will actually solve a few problems at once!! I was thoroughly impressed with how she explained some of the major details of it!!! Wow!!!

Let's Move...a program from our First Lady

Aphrodisiacs....Truth or Myth?

I have been pondering this of late...and have come across some interesting articles in my search...

Apparently, there are some foods that act as a natural aphrodisiac! Some of them are pretty well known, some are....just weird.
Of course, this is no hardcore scientific study as to why these foods affect brain patterns, stimulate glands and the like...but is it more than urban myth?
I know when I eat strawberries (natural!) right before going to bed, I have some pretty weird dreams..i mean, really off the wall, make no sense dreams. Sometimes, they turn into nightmares. This brings up another thing I am thinking of...can the foods you eat affect your sleep patterns as well?

Anyways, the common known aphrodisiacs are: oysters, strawberries, ginger (tincture form), chocolate (which there is some debate about that).

Some interesting articles worth reading...

1. http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/aphrodisiacs/potions.html
2. http://healthycooking.suite101.com/article.cfm/the_five_most_common_aphrodisiacs

and for the gents, to make your semen taste better...apparently diet is important!! You are what you eat!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Sperm-Taste-%96-10-Simple-Tips-For-Better-Tasting-Semen&id=164106

happy swallowing!