1. TS Girls are now known as TS Women. They, (at least the ones I know) are nothing like girls. Girls havent hit puberty yet. These ladies are fully grown!!
2. BBW is one of the most overused general blankets thrown over anyone who is not a size nothing. I hate this term, always have. I shall call them Kurvy Kutie Bombshells. Big Beautiful Woman my ass. That is like trying to glorify the word "bitch". No matter what type of spin you put on it, it still sounds horrible!! What the fuck, over?
3. ATF (all time favorite). A term used by those in the "hobby". What the living hell is this term all about? Really? Hello. Commitment. It causes more drama than a baby out of wedlock. If a provider (especially one of those silly ones who take the term GFE too damn far) thinks her client is seeing another provider (i mean, isnt that what they are supposed to fucking do?) then she will throw a hissy fit. "but I am your ATF!" she will cry. This is clearly a case of bitch please. Don't get it twisted. Chances are your client is married and sleeping with you. DO YOU TRULY EXPECT HIM TO BE FAITHFUL JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE HIS ATF? Silly chits. lol Do yourself the favor and skip the term all together. Keep things simple and drama free. It's not that hard....try it and see!
4. GFE (girlfriend experience) Oh lord Jaysus Tittie H. Christ, this term gets everyone who uses it into sooo much trouble! Hello people. This term is so open to interpretation, I dont know why people bother using it at all!! I see the term as another form of commitment. What happened to plain old no strings attached?? The word Girlfriend itself is a damned commitment! RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY!. I dont want to be your girlfriend. That means you will call me at odd hours, pissing me off and thus causing drama. If you slap that label on me, that means you will assume certain liberties...and when I bring you back down to earth, you have the NERVE to get hurt and offended. Humpf. So, I am banning this word. Dont even think about it!! No! I am a provider, a sizzling sexy escape for one hour at a time. No pay, no play. Duh! GFE is an excuse for someone to attempt bare back sex. Let's not kid ourselves. Really. Cmon now. Urban Dictionary was created for a reason. Do your research.
5. Classy. What in the heck is classy? Oh wait, that's right. A chick who will let people walk all over her as she sits there quietly with a smile on her face. A "lady" made of porcelein and lace. Someone you can take to a dinner or a play or have draped over your arm at your next business meeting. Hello stupid asses of the hobby. Let's get a clue here. Any provider worth her blow jobs is going to make sure she is fed. If this means she has to put a lid on the blatant sexuality for a short while, she is going to do that. Just because she is SMART doesnt make her classy. It just means she is no dummy. If a client takes her out to dinner, do you really really think a provider worth her reverse cowgirl giddyup will walk out the door looking like a hooker? (unless that is the type of provider a client hangs out with. in that case, he gets what he asked for. duh). NO! she will be dressed to the nines in the latest LV fashions, complete with the black Louboutin heels. Duh. Just...smh. this word should have been number one on my list of banned words. Just because I have burgundy streaks in my hair and can rock purple eyeshadow.....does not mean I am not classy. Not responding to the haters who dare tell me I am not classy...now, that is real class. LOL. Get a clue and stop using this word!
6. DATY (dining at the Y)...just say eat me. Really. I will admit it took me a minute to visualize DATY...as in, the words. I had to figure out what the Y was. Once I got it, I became annoyed. lol. Just say you like to eat pussy!! I know I do!
7. YMMV (your mileage may vary) What the fuck am I...a car? A used Honda? Are you serious? This one is a no fracking brainer. Why use this term? Hello. Captain Obvious is upset at the fact someone stole his punch line. OF COURSE YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY!! If a provider did everyone the same...she would be a robot. That is no fun. Everyone should get something different every time. If you dont, you are fucking a robot and you just got ripped off. Congrats on being stupid . Could be at least change the word mileage to experience? please? WTF? I know we providers are used (gladly) but...we are not used Hondas. This is just a dumb damned term.
8. Bartering. This term...when i hear it, I just tune the word out. I dont even hear it. My brain skips right over it, automatically. Hello. My body is for sale. SALE. Meaning I expect to make a monetary profit from it. lol. What the hell am i going to do with the Christian Louboutins you bought me in exchange for an hour of my time? Take them to my favorite resale shop and get paid! (if they are a gift, then I am keeping them. Duh!) My inbox sees at least one of these emails each week. "If I buy you a Coach bag and take you out to dinner, can I have four hours of sex with you?" No you dumbass. I dont even like Coach. My body is for SALE, not BARTER. Oh, and I can tell a real from a fake too. Don't even try it.
9. SPINNER. WTF? This is the dumbest damned marketing ploy used by skinny girls. Just say what you are...petite. Small. Skinny. There is no shame in it. There is no one (except one crazy in Los Angeles) who is going to put you in a suspended peach basket and spin you around and around while his dick is inside you. Just say what you are and embrace it. You are slim. Slender. Unless you really do go around fucking in circles. Then hey, you are a spinner and more power to you! Captain Obvious does ask one thing...How is it yu are providing a good fuck if you are dizzy from spinning? Hello.
10. Bisexual. I am not bisexual, I am just plain greedy! I love sex with men, women, TS women and other alternatives. (i draw the line at animals. there are some things even I, Mistress SexualAdventures wont do)
DOES IT REALLY MATTER WHO YOU GET IT FROM? As long as you are satisfied at the end, that is all that should matter, in my opinion. If you are a man and have to swallow another man's baby batter in order to get off, what shame is there?? Stop being such.....prudes. Sheesh. People wonder why I am moving to Europe in about ten years. Americans are so.....old fashioned! Hello.
This is my top ten list of banned words. Use them in my presence and I will make like a tree and leaf. Truly. Has living in NYC made me jaded? No, not in the least bit. Living in NYC has made it harder to hide my jadedness (I know that is not a word, shut up!). I mean, I ran over Jane Fonda outside Sephora in Herald Square. She was in my way. Had to go. lol.
Stay tuned for more random musings folks.
