Favorite Things...are the little things

You know? In the quest of trying to figure out what makes me happy...i have found out something significant.
Little things make me happy!!

Strawberries. I love strawberries. I think it goes back to some childhood memories..of lazy summers at my Grandma's house. She had wild strawberries in her backyard..and i would make myself sick by eating them. I havent had strawberries so juicy and sweet since...man. Those were good!! I can still taste them..and feel the stickiness on my hands. I would plop down on the ground (i do believe I was about 4 or 5...) and just eat them. Ants, dirt and all. I didnt care. They were yummy. I guess that is why one of my favorite cartoons growing up was Strawberry Shortcake.

Porkchops!!! I love, love, love love love love porkchops. Even the name sounds cute. Porkchop. Makes my mouth water. Once again, I think it ties back in with my upbringing. My grandfather was an excellent cook. In fact,  the women in my family always hook up with men who can cook..hmm. But man!! Those porkchops always came out so...yummyliscious!! Seasoned and fried up just right....oh man. The whole house would smell of...porkchops. Good god. I am a sucker for a good darned porkchop.

Lace. I am not much of a silk person...in fact, I am a pretty practical person. Why wear silk when it is just going to...slide?? My wardrobe is pretty simple. I wear dark colors...blacks, blues and purples. Gray and silver at times too. Now, my underclothes? Thats my secret indulgence. I love fishnet stockings. Regular stockings make me feel like I am suffocating..and I do like to feel free. Oh..and they have to be thigh hi's...not that control top crap. I like my panties and bras to have a bit of lace..not completely lace. Cant go wrong with cotton....

Music. Any post i make on any discussion board has a link to a song. I have ALWAYS loved music..all types. The blues, jazz, rap, italian lyrics, spanish, Czech, classical, broadway, trance, electronica, death metal, ska, grunge, r and b..I love music! Why? I can always find a song to fit whatever mood i am in. Music also helps me set my mood. If I am about to see a client, I will play something upbeat..but sensual. If I am at home relaxing with a cup of tea..then i will play some Ella Fitzgerald. I hear music and it is like it takes me over..i feel it in my veins..i come alive..however, i can not carry a tune in a bucket. I cant sing..and I dont try to. lol

Anime. I have always been a fan of Japanese Animation. Not the regular run of the mill silly cartoons one may see on TV. I love the ones that have depth to them...the pic above is of a series called Shikabane Hime. The underlying plot is of Buddhist teachings of enlightenment, life and death. It is by far, the BEST damn series I have come across. What happens to our regrets and obsessions when we die? Do they manifest and continue living? Reincarnation? This series just kicked ass...I loved it. I will be posting a blog soon about the concepts discussed in the series. I also prefer my anime with subtitles..as so much is often lost in translation. I also love Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex..1st and 2nd Gig. I think there is a 3rd gig out..I am still looking for it. The soundtrack is absolutely BEAUTIFUL, as I discovered Ilaria Graziano. She is an italian singer who does most of the vocals for the songs. Her voice is hauting. Beautiful...of another world. Listen to her on youtube and you shall see what I mean. Make sure you have a glass of wine beside you...her voice will transport you into another world. I am in the process of collecting all of her songs..

KeyChains. I collect keychains from different cities I visit. Just something quirky about me. I like the metal ones that have something in the middle you can spin. I have no clue where this obsession came from. I havent tried to figure it out either. lol.

VIDEOGAMES!!! I am the biggest RPGer out there. I have played almost all the Final Fantasy series (just finished up Crisis Core, as it has Sephiroth in it.

Something about guys with silver hair..and the strategy one has to use in serious games...keeps me busy.

Just a few of the things that make me happy in life!!

Love and the Sex Worker

So, Valentine's Day is just around the corner. Its the day where lovers snuggle close and show each other how much they love and appreciate each other

Now me? Personally, I am not a holiday person. Why have one special day out of the year? It's just another excuse for Hallmark and Hershey's to cash in. Call me jaded and cynical..but that is just how I feel on the matter. I tend to hide away when the holidays are around..I am not much for intimate gatherings and the sharing of feelings. Yes, part of this is due to my upbringing..holidays just werent celebrated in my household. Now, I dont hold it against others who wish to indulge in the festivities the holidays bring. I just do not understand it, as I was not raised in a festive environment.

Now, as for the title of this post....I an merely curious. I am a single, attractive young woman who enjoys being a courtesan. I enjoy the excitement, the no strings attached sentiments, the adventure. I travel to new and different places. I meet new people. I go exploring..into my true self..find out what makes me happy and the like. I enjoy my lifestyle, live it up and well, that is about it.

However, there are times..when the womanly feelings in me kick up and I get tired of sleeping in my queen size bed alone...and no, my cat doesnt count. I find myself wondering how it is...that I am a wonderful courtesan and can create magical moments for others..but not myself? How is it others can fnd love and true companionship..and I can not? Yes, I have tried. I have had ex boyfriends...even ex husbands. The only one I truly loved was an ex boyfriend..who, well, he hurt me. Still hurts to this day. Does this make me shy away from a substantial and meaningful relationship? You bet. So, I focus on other things in my life. I keep myself busy..new projects, writing, working, exploring..

I have wondered though..how do ladies in this industry have a significant other and continue to do what they do? Is there an off switch? Are they able to keep emotions for clients and loved ones separate? I know there are some ladies who don't tell their loved ones what they do for a living..does the guilt eat them alive?

Now me, I am a little different. I have a switch and can turn emotions on and off...just like that! (snap the fingers). However, this does not mean I am immune to emotions..I just control them.

There are some men I have met (well, one really) in this industry..that I truly wish we had met some other way. I am a stickler for self imposed rules. If i meet someone as a courtesan..then that is my role. Nothing more. What happens when one meets someone as..a real person...and the other person knows about the "secret life"? Would that change how they view each other? Would lines get blurred? Blurring of lines, in my opinion, causes "drama"...communication mis fires, words are hurled around with no real meaning..its all a mess after a while. Drama is something i try to avoid at all costs...as i dont have the time or patience for it.

What is wrong with having an excellent no strings attached relationship? Both parties get their needs fulfilled, there is a friendship...a deep friendship..and nothing else!! You may meet up once a month or something...hang out sometimes..and continue to live your lives. THAT is what I have ever wanted of any male. I dont want to be under his thumb..nor do I want him under mine. We meet up, have fun..and keep it moving. I have tried that..and it gets fucked up everytime!! So, from now on, eh. I wont worry about it. I will focus on being a successful businesswoman.

I am just curious. All parties involved in this industry know what the deal is...so why try to blur the lines?