Now me? Personally, I am not a holiday person. Why have one special day out of the year? It's just another excuse for Hallmark and Hershey's to cash in. Call me jaded and cynical..but that is just how I feel on the matter. I tend to hide away when the holidays are around..I am not much for intimate gatherings and the sharing of feelings. Yes, part of this is due to my upbringing..holidays just werent celebrated in my household. Now, I dont hold it against others who wish to indulge in the festivities the holidays bring. I just do not understand it, as I was not raised in a festive environment.
Now, as for the title of this post....I an merely curious. I am a single, attractive young woman who enjoys being a courtesan. I enjoy the excitement, the no strings attached sentiments, the adventure. I travel to new and different places. I meet new people. I go exploring..into my true self..find out what makes me happy and the like. I enjoy my lifestyle, live it up and well, that is about it.
However, there are times..when the womanly feelings in me kick up and I get tired of sleeping in my queen size bed alone...and no, my cat doesnt count. I find myself wondering how it is...that I am a wonderful courtesan and can create magical moments for others..but not myself? How is it others can fnd love and true companionship..and I can not? Yes, I have tried. I have had ex boyfriends...even ex husbands. The only one I truly loved was an ex boyfriend..who, well, he hurt me. Still hurts to this day. Does this make me shy away from a substantial and meaningful relationship? You bet. So, I focus on other things in my life. I keep myself busy..new projects, writing, working, exploring..
I have wondered though..how do ladies in this industry have a significant other and continue to do what they do? Is there an off switch? Are they able to keep emotions for clients and loved ones separate? I know there are some ladies who don't tell their loved ones what they do for a living..does the guilt eat them alive?
Now me, I am a little different. I have a switch and can turn emotions on and off...just like that! (snap the fingers). However, this does not mean I am immune to emotions..I just control them.
There are some men I have met (well, one really) in this industry..that I truly wish we had met some other way. I am a stickler for self imposed rules. If i meet someone as a courtesan..then that is my role. Nothing more. What happens when one meets someone as..a real person...and the other person knows about the "secret life"? Would that change how they view each other? Would lines get blurred? Blurring of lines, in my opinion, causes "drama"...communication mis fires, words are hurled around with no real meaning..its all a mess after a while. Drama is something i try to avoid at all costs...as i dont have the time or patience for it.
What is wrong with having an excellent no strings attached relationship? Both parties get their needs fulfilled, there is a friendship...a deep friendship..and nothing else!! You may meet up once a month or something...hang out sometimes..and continue to live your lives. THAT is what I have ever wanted of any male. I dont want to be under his thumb..nor do I want him under mine. We meet up, have fun..and keep it moving. I have tried that..and it gets fucked up everytime!! So, from now on, eh. I wont worry about it. I will focus on being a successful businesswoman.
I am just curious. All parties involved in this industry know what the deal is...so why try to blur the lines?
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