Read on!!
1. is there a freaking teenager handbook that instructs teenage girls to squeal and giggle (high pitched) ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!. Hello!! I am on the subway, on my way home from an exhausting outcall (he was gooooooddddddd) and these two girls....omg. i wanted to punch them in the throat so fracking bad...would not shut up. I live about 40 mins from manhattan. Long train ride.
2. Is there a secret subway rule that says if you see someone breaking their ankles to get on a train...YOU STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THEM? I actually had to shove someone (teenagers, yup) out the way because I was running to catch a fracking train.
3. Is there a god blessed code on how to decode the korean lady at the corner store? OMFG. I just wanted a pack of Marlboro Red 100's..IN THE BOX!! Not the softpack! She kept talking gibberish, I was pointing directly at the fracking box...took us five mins to figure each other out. How can you live in a predominately (dont call me out on my spelling) russian neighborhood and not speak a word of fucking english? Or russian? Or Spanish? WTF.
4. I am convinced the computer gods are all having a chuckle at my expense this week. My roommates's dog fucked up some buttons on my keyboard (he is a pit. big paws. long nails. left my laptop on the couch to go pee...came back, he was getting out of MY spot on the couch and clawed my fucking keyboard.) Oh, not only that, TER is loading slow for me today. Let's not forget my headphones..the left ear just..poof. bam. blew out. so now, i have to get a new pair.
5. The males species, as a whole, are a bunch of fucktards. This is a fact. My roomie? 35 and wants to be a rockstar. If I have to hear Crazy Train by Ozzy ONE MORE FRACKING FRICKING DAY..i am taking his 2500 guitar, his laptop and his fucking amps and selling them...all for 100 bucks, which should really piss him off.
I am only 29 but i swear to the Provider Goddess (i am buildng her a shrine in my room this week, she has been good to me lately...) that i feel 87.
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